Although some would label him a seriously troubled fantasist, those of us who know the truth realise his true value. Among other things his inventions can:
* Cure the mentally ill with the patented Kadir-Buxton Method of smacking them around the head
*Awaken the comatose using the same method
* "Brighten the day of AIDS sufferers" with the use of the Kadir-Buxton buttock-slap
* Raise the dead by punching them (as the nervous system can survive longer than the brains)
* Unblock fallopian tubes, by reaching in to tickle the ovaries
* Make childbirth into a 45-minute orgasm
Despite discovering these amazing methods he hasn't rested on his laurels, and is also responsible for:
* Inventing the 'Red Rose' logo for the Labour Party
* Inventing 'Economy 7' while only 12 years old, although he was susequently targeted for assassination because of it
* The Labour Party's focus on health and education (nicked from his 'final year' paper)
* The name 'New Labour'
* Saving the 'Dodo Tree' from extinction
Regrettably, he has had trouble getting his ideas accepted by the medical profession, and some people are even skeptical about his methods due to the fact that he isn't a doctor, or medically trained in any way. One day, we'll all rue mocking him!
*Awaken the comatose using the same method
* "Brighten the day of AIDS sufferers" with the use of the Kadir-Buxton buttock-slap
* Raise the dead by punching them (as the nervous system can survive longer than the brains)
* Unblock fallopian tubes, by reaching in to tickle the ovaries
* Make childbirth into a 45-minute orgasm
Despite discovering these amazing methods he hasn't rested on his laurels, and is also responsible for:
* Inventing the 'Red Rose' logo for the Labour Party
* Inventing 'Economy 7' while only 12 years old, although he was susequently targeted for assassination because of it
* The Labour Party's focus on health and education (nicked from his 'final year' paper)
* The name 'New Labour'
* Saving the 'Dodo Tree' from extinction
Regrettably, he has had trouble getting his ideas accepted by the medical profession, and some people are even skeptical about his methods due to the fact that he isn't a doctor, or medically trained in any way. One day, we'll all rue mocking him!
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